Chasing Dopey: Day 2

Today I woke up feeling better, my ear has been bothering me and it has been so cold here. I get it to some 30s and 40s isn't cold, but when you have asthma the cold air doesn't make it any easier. So unless it is a race and I have to go out and run in the cold, I prefer to keep my training indoors.

Training today consisted of Week 1, Day 2 of Transform 20 and an additional workout called Best Butt for 10 minutes, that works your legs and butt. For all you runners out there, you know having a strong butt, legs and core is key to running better. I am working on increasing my cardio endurance.

As far as physical training goes, today was a good day for it. Now for the other piece, emotionally. Today I came upon a picture of 2016, I look so happy, and I miss her. It was before I lost my brother. And I just miss being that free go lucky person who thought she had problems, but did not even know what dealing with real heartbreak felt like.

In 2017, after massive heartbreak, I lost my passion for running. I will never forget running with all my heart shortly after he passed, crying the entire way, hoping I'd take my last breath too. I ran my fastest 2 miles ever. I was not afraid of not being able to breathe. I was not afraid to injure myself, I thought to myself, what is the worst that can happen... it already happened. I went ahead and ran my marathon in honor of him less than a month after him passing away. I was done. I was done with me, I was done with work, I was just done.

I forced myself to enjoy and run Princess 2018 since I had already signed up. But that was it. No more medals, no more races, no more running. And then here I am in 2019, aspiring to do Dopey. I want to fall in love with running again. I want to be that girl from 2016/2017. I want to be unafraid to run my heart out...

Marathon Training Run- 9 Miles

So.... I've decided to document each training run for my marathon on this blog... I think it will help me access my level of running and determine on whether I'm going to go for the full in marathon or not.

I am signed up for what would be my second marathon in December 2017. I completed a marathon in December 2015. I had been running all year and felt amazing. I am back to running. I love it. It just makes me feel so free.

Backstory: I am an asthmatic. The last time I was training for this  marathon, I had what was either an asthma attack or quite possibly an anxiety attack... heck it could have even possibly been both.

I was inching up on mile 5 of a 10 mile run. I was at the point of returning. I was high up on a hill that I had previously ran multiple times. I had good pace, I had a good rhythm. And then all of a sudden without warning, a strong gust of wind started blowing and I couldn't catch my breath. I was struggling to breathe. I panicked. Tears rolling down my face, I scrambled to the side of the trail, maneuvered my inhaler out of my running belt, and covered my face with a light jacket I had on. I took two puffs, and slowly I began to regain composure.

Those few seconds, possibly even maybe a minute or two... seemed like forever. I struggled. I was nervous and scared. And from then on anytime a strong gust of wind blew, I began to panic. I still do. I went on to complete my marathon. BUT it seems as though I have forgotten how to breathe.

Saturday's run. I was doing great. I actually got back close to my average mile pace of 10:30... for two miles. Then I tried a run walk method. I'd take small walk breaks and then run as fast as I could for however long I could. It was good. Towards the end though I started to feel gassed, exhausted. I even felt a little discouraged. In my head it's how can I even attempt to complete 26.2, if I'm struggling to get in 9. I know I did it before... I know I can do it again. Just a matter of getting my head in the right place I suppose.