Chasing Dopey: Day 2

Today I woke up feeling better, my ear has been bothering me and it has been so cold here. I get it to some 30s and 40s isn't cold, but when you have asthma the cold air doesn't make it any easier. So unless it is a race and I have to go out and run in the cold, I prefer to keep my training indoors.

Training today consisted of Week 1, Day 2 of Transform 20 and an additional workout called Best Butt for 10 minutes, that works your legs and butt. For all you runners out there, you know having a strong butt, legs and core is key to running better. I am working on increasing my cardio endurance.

As far as physical training goes, today was a good day for it. Now for the other piece, emotionally. Today I came upon a picture of 2016, I look so happy, and I miss her. It was before I lost my brother. And I just miss being that free go lucky person who thought she had problems, but did not even know what dealing with real heartbreak felt like.

In 2017, after massive heartbreak, I lost my passion for running. I will never forget running with all my heart shortly after he passed, crying the entire way, hoping I'd take my last breath too. I ran my fastest 2 miles ever. I was not afraid of not being able to breathe. I was not afraid to injure myself, I thought to myself, what is the worst that can happen... it already happened. I went ahead and ran my marathon in honor of him less than a month after him passing away. I was done. I was done with me, I was done with work, I was just done.

I forced myself to enjoy and run Princess 2018 since I had already signed up. But that was it. No more medals, no more races, no more running. And then here I am in 2019, aspiring to do Dopey. I want to fall in love with running again. I want to be that girl from 2016/2017. I want to be unafraid to run my heart out...